Once upon a time, thankfully not ours, women were considered property. Marriage contracts were usually a financial transaction. A lot of bargaining would take place before a marriage to settle on the bride price, with the poor female the pawn of it all. They had little choice in the matter of whom they would marry. "Love is for the poor for they do not care if they starve, because they already are", was the belief.

When they were led down the altar, they would seem to be so docile. The truth is that some were usually drugged so that they wouldn't run away. The practice of being veiled was embraced as a way that the groom wouldn't see the bride's tears. The women would have to say out loud that they would love, honor and OBEY the man who now was their husband and that was that.

Thanks to women's lib, this is no longer the case. The ladies may choose their mates, be it for financial gain or for love; maybe even both. They are considered equal partners of the men they will marry and as such the vows have been changed to love, honor and cherish.

Of course, you don't need to use those vows either. You can make your vows completely personal and from the heart. It can make your wedding more memorable for both of you. Just check first with your officiant if you can go ahead and do this, some may be really strict and insist on the basic vows (though they are rare).

Return to Index